ICANITUS

ICANITUS

It gets us all eventually

FRIDAY

Wonderful, its come at last, the ability to do...nothing, Oh the freedom from all that daily grind. No more commuting to the office, rush hour traffic, or lunch time skirmishes in Sainsburys. I can do all the things I’ve ever wanted to do, but never had the time.

I can stay up ‘till two in the morning without feeling guilty. I can go out on Sunday night knowing I don’t have to get up early Monday morning. I can stay in my nightie till lunch time, have a leisurely brunch, cruse the department stores and browse the book shops forever. I can wander the highways and byways without the need to get back and do something. I’ve got…Icanitus what bliss.

SATURDAY

Still can’t believe it, I’m free. I revel in the fact that I don’t have to wash and iron over the weekend. The housework can wait; I’ve got all the time in the world. I can have a relaxing breakfast and read the papers from cover to cover fantastic.

Now what shall I do next, I know, have a nice long soak in the bath, then get dressed. No I won’t, I promised myself no dressing ‘till lunch time. Ok I’ll read for a while, I’ve been meaning to get to Alice Walker’s latest gem for ages. Now, coffee, nibbles, where’s me specks? Ah ha, got ‘em, rug for my knees, right, I’m all set.

One Week Later…My God! is that the time, must get a move on, finish the book later, have to..... Have to what? Have to nothing stupid, you’ve got Icanitus remember... So…I forgot for a minute, so what…I’m new at this game, takes a while to get used to, that’s all. Help...am I really talking to myself? Oh well, I suppose it’s all part of this Icanitus business.

What's next? Oh yes, make a list of all the things I've ever wanted to do but never had the time. Ok that sounds good, let’s do it. Wait! Have to go shopping first for pen and paper. You know, it’s funny how I always have to buy something, to do something.

SUNDAY

This is the life, slap up breakfast at the local cafe, overlooking the wonderful green rolling hills and valleys of the Chiltern Hills. Pottering about the antique fairs dotted around the villages. Old up! waxing a bit lyrical aren’t you. Yeah, well, what do you expect I’ve never had nothing do before. I’ve died and gone to heaven, I really have.

Not a worry in the world, well, maybe just a tiny one, I mean it might not seem much to some people but, for me it’s a major decision, where do I eat lunch?. Ok so I’m being facetious, but I’m allowed. I was told frequently as a child, that batty women with Icanitus can be excused a great deal, due to senility. Anyway, where was I, oh yes lunch, the quaint old Coach House, or the trendy new place in town. Lets toss for it, heads the Coach House, tails the trendy town restaurant. Heads it is.... Well, on a scale of one to ten that place gets an eleven. Oh dear yawn, yawn, time for a snooze I think, hard work this, doing nothing.

MONDAY

Whoops! nearly didn’t get to the women’s centre today, forgot it was Monday, the days are all running into each other, must be another quirk of Icanitus. You know, I can’t think of anything better than volunteering at the Womens Centre…you get to meet fantastic women, do some really satisfying work, and have fun, all at the same time, awesome!....

TUESDAY Now where was I, Aahh yes…the list, hmm, now where did I put that note pad and pen? Right item one. I can try art, yes...there are a lot of nice views around here so, So what? So, go and paint them. Well, I’ll need a few things first won’t I? Brushes, paint, one of those things to prop the canvass on, turps, a stool, can’t stand up all day can I? Ok, ok, I get the picture, sounds like another shopping trip. On the other hand I could learn to swim! You can’t breathe when you’re in water! Keep fit? You can’t breathe and jump. What about learning another language? You did French a while back, and you can’t remember a thing. Wind surfing then? Are you completely gaga, how can you wind surf, if you can’t swim? This is getting boring. Hang gliding? You don’t like heights, Climb Everest? Ditto. How about becoming a Buddhist monk? You’re the wrong gender stupid. A hippie then? No, you did that years ago. A famous actress? Oh come onnn.., pleassse… you’re really getting into the realms of fantasy now aren’t you? Ok, head’s out of the clouds, last try. What about writing? Yep, I can do that! Yesss… you don’t even have to shop for that, you’ve got pen, paper, everything you need. Now what can I write about, hmm..... (ping!) I know, I can write something on retirement for the Women’s Centre news letter. Yeah.., now you’re talking.