Making Babies Makes Brains

Making Babies Makes Brains
According to American research scientists, having babies makes women brainier. Craig Kinsley of Richmond, Virginia who led the study said, “The brain of a pregnant female is like a toy factory at Christmas. It is forever receiving orders and gearing up for the increased demands about to be placed on it. It looks like this does something to make a woman’s learning much more efficient, and it can last for a lifetime”.

Well it had to come didn’t it? They had to find another excuse to keep us bare foot and pregnant, didn’t they? When the pill came along and gave us freedom of choice, more and more women opted for a career first and kids later. Now, this poses a problem for the little darlings doesn’t it? Making Babies Makes Brains Why? Well it’s simple really. You see as far as brains are concerned, some men have tunnel vision don’t they? Their brains can only concentrate on one thing at a time poor things; that TV programme, ‘Why Men Don’t Iron’ told us that remember? Consequently, if they haven’t got a woman to do everything for them at home they can’t cope. They just can’t get to the top of their chosen profession, and boil an egg at the same time. Sad isn’t it? Making Babies Makes Brains

As a result, some bright spark with his brains in his b*!!# thought he’d better try and find a new excuse to keep us at home. Yes, you’ve guessed it, they’re going to try kidding us it will be good for us to be constantly pregnant... Problem solved; they get to keep us at home and do us the favor of making us brainier! So, when we’ve finished producing the next generation (whilst waiting on these men hand and foot) we will be so brainy that we can go out and get all the top jobs. Never mind they’ve nicked all the best ones--while we were getting brainier.

Can you imagine the work place of their ideal future? Women everywhere, who’ve managed to break through the ‘glass ceiling’ into top jobs, will be carefully re-evaluated and checked for past pregnancies. Any woman found to have been pregnant, will face automatic dismissal on the grounds that she only got the job because she slept with a man, proving therefore, that her superior intelligence is the result of pregnancy and not natural. Making Babies Makes Brains

Any mother up for promotion at work will be accused of having an unfair advantage in the work place due to past pregnancies; the more kids she has, the bigger her advantage.

Equal Opportunity departments will be swamped with complaints from men. Companies that refused them a job will be accused of discriminating against them because they are men and couldn’t increase their brainpower with pregnancy.

Women with degrees gained while rearing kids will be told not to bother adding the degree to their C.V.’s, ‘cause their achievements don’t count. They only got a degree because some man had the forethought to get them pregnant.

Chauvinist partners everywhere will tell mothers. “You’re only brainy because I made you pregnant, so get out there and find a good job and I can stay at home doing nothing for a change”.

We’ll have to put up with new chat up lines like, “ ’Allo, Darlin’, come up to my place I’ll help with your studies,” or, for the odd ‘cultured’ male, “Come and see my etchings, I promise it’ll improve you mind!” Making Babies Makes Brains Some man, somewhere, will always come up with a new reason why we need them; now we’ve got rid of all the old ones, because we’re doing too damn well for their liking.

I think a bunch of women scientists should to get together to study why men have their brains in their b*!!#

I wonder. Do you think I could get funding for the research?

© Copyright Carol Wills 1999.


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