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Four Words That Change Your Life Forever“Your Child Has Cancer”… I’m trying to remember my life before my son, Scott, was diagnosed with Lymphoma. What is Lymphoma? Lymphoma is when some of the cells in the lymph system multiply uncontrollably - if all the cells are the same they are called cancerous. I can’t remember not being frightened. And that in it’s self is frightening to me. For those of you who have heard these four words or ones similar, you know that feeling. Your world stops, you can’t believe this is happening. Happening to your, to your child. They don’t deserve this, they’re so young, so kind, so loving, so good to people. Why is God doing this, why not one of the bad guys, the ones that rape and kill, anyone else, just not your child. Next, you start gathering information. You race right to your computer, hundreds of searches, trying to find only positive articles on what your child has. You try and find the disease, but you can’t even spell it, you can’t even pronounce it, not yet anyway. You look for positive statements, if they don’t tell you what you want to hear, you don’t finish the articles. You can’t stop yourself. I found out that this isn’t the best thing to do. Most of the information I read was much worse than what Scott actually has. Yes, cancer is bad, but in different degrees. And so many things have to be taken into consideration. Everyone comes to your side, you have a great support group; friends, family, but they’re not sure what to do. Funny thing is, you’re not sure what to do either. You’re not the same person you were before you heard those four little words. Eventually everyone must return to their lives. Not because they don’t care, they just have to. Somewhere in a haze you see your life as it was before you heard those terrifying words, a time when you weren’t worried, when you weren’t holding your breath, frightened when the phone rings, always thinking, is this more bad news. As mom’s we put on a brave front. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me, yes, he’s doing great. He’ll beat this”. But deep down, down where you can be yourself, down where no one can hear you say those terrible words, “Will he make it, will he win this fight?” You always believed in God, but now you pray. You pray all the time. You make deals with God, let Scott be okay and I’ll ______, you’ll give up everything to save your child. You pray for strength to keep it together. Always the Mom, you want to be able to comfort your child not them comforting you. Most times you find it hard to stay happy. I’m not saying we can’t be happy, but staying there is more difficult now. I think it’s because our thoughts weave in and out, from our daily activities, work and then, slam, right back to your child. Part of your heart is always sad. The part were you hide what you’re afraid to say out loud. You can’t let anyone know you’re worried about your child surviving this. We can’t take the chance to voice these thoughts. What kind of parent would you be if we have doubts? Not all the changes in my life were bad. In fact, some where very positive changes. I owe these positive changes to my son. He has taught me “And This to Shall Pass” and that I must hang it there until it does. He has taught me to look at my life the gift it is. Now, I make time to “stop and smell the roses”, and the saying “Live each day like it was your last” makes sense now. I realize bad things can and do happen to good people and that God is still there even though he gave us these challenges. I now know that my life is what I make it and I choose to make mine count. Through everything, Scott has remained strong, positive and comforting. But I wonder, deep down, down where he can be himself, down where no one can hear him say those terrible words, “Will I make it, will I win this fight?” I pray my love will comfort him and make it not so scary? To go on, I must believe that it does…. For more information call the National Cancer Institute information service toll free at 1-800-4-CANCER or the American Cancer Society at 1-800-ACS-2345. I called both and can highly recommend them for down to earth information. While spending time at the hospital with her son, Scott and his 2 brothers, Chad and Jason, convinced their Mom to start her own website. Sherrie now has Parenting A to Z. Visit her site for 101 parenting tips, newsletter and fun family projects. Parenting A to Z host “Talk to Our Teen” page facilitated by her 16 year old daughter, Rebecca. It’s a family affair…www.parentingatoz.com
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