Leaving an Abuser

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if you need to leave this page quickly, please press any of the buttons and you will be taken to the cartoon pages on this site.

Here are some helpful items to get together if you are planning on leaving an abuser. Keep these items in a safe place until you are ready to leave, or if you need to leave suddenly.

If there's no safe place in your home, try asking a trusted friend or neighbour to hold your stuff. Just make sure you can get to it fast if you need to.

If you have children, take them. And take your pets too (if you can).

A Planning Checklist of What to Take With You when Leaving an Abuser

Identification for yourself and your children

Birth certificates
Social security/national insurance cards (or numbers written down if you can't find the cards)
Driver's license
Photo identification or passports
Welfare/benefits identification
Work permit (UK) or Green card (USA)

Important personal papers

Marriage certificate
Divorce papers
Custody orders
Legal protection or restraining orders
Health insurance papers and medical cards
Medical records for all family members
Children's school records
Investment papers/records and account numbers
Work permits
Immigration papers
Rental agreement/lease or house deed
Car title, registration, and insurance information

Funds

Cash
Credit cards
ATM/cash point card
Chequebook and/or building society book (with deposit slips)
Keys to the house
Keys to the car
Keys to the safety deposit box or post office box

A way to communicate

Phone calling card
Mobile phone
Address book
Medications at least 1 month's supply for all medicines you and your children are taking, as well as a copy of the prescriptions

A way to get by

Jewellery or small objects you can sell, if you run out of money or stop having access to your accounts

Things to help you cope

Pictures
Keepsakes
Children's small toys or books

One last thing leaving an abuser is hard enough without worring if they will find out you are going. So,try to follow the tips below, it might save your life.

Staying safe on the internet

How can an abuser discover your internet activities?

Please take a few minutes to read the warning below and to take steps to increase your safety when using the internet and this website. If an abuser has access to your email account, they may be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail.

If you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password that an abuser will not be able to guess.

If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing e-mail messages, print and save them as evidence of this abuse.

If an abuser knows how to read your computer's history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), they may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the internet.

Internet Explorer:
Pull down the Tools menu then select Internet Options. On the General page under, Temporary Internet Files, click on the Delete Files button. Under the History section click on the Clear History button.

Netscape:
You can clear your history or empty your cache file in your browser's settings. Pull down Edit menu and select Preferences. Click on Navigator on choose the Clear History button. Click on Advanced then select Cache. Click on Clear Disk Cache button.

Older versions of Netscape:
Pull down Options menu. Select Network Options, Select Cache. Click on the Clear Disk Cache button.

Internet service providers ISP’s:
All service providers have advice or info on staying safe on line however, they don’t all have an easily identifiable button to delete evidence of the sites you have recently searched so, unless you are using AOL (see below) my advice is always delete the information on where you have surfed after you go off line.

You can do this by clicking the start button then control panel. In the control panel, click Internet Options. On the ‘Temporary Internet Files’, click the Delete Files button. Under the ‘History’ section, click the Clear History button.

AOL:
Pull down Settings menu select Preferences. Click on Internet Properties WWW icon. In the temporary internet files section click delete files. In the History section, click clear history.

This information may not completely hide your tracks.

Many browser types have features that display recently visited sites. If you are worried about your internet activities being found out, the safest way to find information on the internet would be at a women’s centre, a local library, internet cafe, a friend's house, or at work.

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